Can’t Get “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher” Out of Your Head?
Yeah, me neither.
It’s ridiculous that Netflix won’t release the soundtrack. ANYWAY… as I was novelizing our holiday one-shot (video below) to add to the overarching campaign book I’m writing, I decided to end the written version of our one-shot with a parody of the Witcher song (sung by Gimmer). It tells the tale of our adventure killing Krampus and saving Kringle and the town of Iceville. Yay!
Character art by Jacob Grimoire and Nicolai Figueroa.
To the tune of “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher”
Once, a humble bard
Graced a ride along
With Gimmer the sorcerer
And along came this song
From when the phoenix fought
A bah-humbug devil
His army of tin men
At his hooves did they revel
They came after me
With ice chips in their teeth
Broke down my shields and
They gut my last heat
While the devil’s horns
Flit through magic dim
I called out ‘Xhalarr,
Can’t you see him?’
Toss a coin to your Gimmer
Oh patrons of plenty
Oh patrons of plenty
Oh-oh-oh!
Toss a coin to your Gimmer
Oh patrons of plenty
At the edge of your dreams
We fight the icy beings
It bashes and breaks us
But brings us loot things
We thrust that small gnome
Right back in his home
Up in the north pole
From whence he came
We wiped out your pest
Got slashed in our chests
Gim’s the greatest illusionist
And his five good friends
That’s our epic tale
We totally prevailed
Defeated the Krampus
Now pour us some ale!
Toss a coin to your Gimmer
Oh patrons of plenty
Oh patrons of plenty
Oh-oh-oh!
Toss a coin to your Gimmer
He’s a great illusionist!
Toss a coin to your Gimmer
Oh patrons of plenty
Oh patrons of plenty
Oh-oh-oh!
Toss a coin to your Gimmer
He’s a great illusionist!
Toss a coin to your Gimmer
Oh patrons of plenty
Oh patrons of plenty
Oh-oh-oh!
Toss a coin to your Gimmer
He’s a great illusionist!
